How to give effective feedback (without sounding smug)
A tool I learned at Mckinsey when stakes were high 🧵👇
Often it appears in corporations the only people getting ahead are those types of yes people.
To get what you want at work, the advice you often get is to be agreeable, don't strain the relationship, and don't say anything that might offend anyone.
This is bad advice.
If two people don't give each other feedback, it’s a sign that at least one isn’t thinking critically—or speaking candidly.
This means best ideas or improvement opportunities are often lost.
The feedback culture at McKinsey is no joke.
The feedback constantly helps improve collective output and raise the bar.
But it’s not all downward feedback - Upward feedback, even from juniors to a Partner, is expected and encouraged.
The minimum is a 20-minute chat with a partner every 2 weeks, but it’s very common to give feedback on the spot after client meetings, on PowerPoint, and on your data modeling.
This makes everyone anti-sensitive to feedback and enables faster improvements.
Personally, this framework has been life-changing.
I hate confrontation and, in the past, found myself compromising what I wanted or needed to keep the peace.
It taught me how to analyze social situations and apply problem-solving skills to them without appearing difficult.
But there is a specific way to give feedback without making the listener defensive.
And that is what I am going to discuss in this thread:
I'll go over...
• What is McKinsey feedback model
• Why it works
• How to use it?
• Examples
Let's dive in:
What is it?
Quite simply, it's a tactical model to give feedback so it will be heard and understood without leading to negative sentiments.
The model intends to make the feedback:
• Precise
• Fact-based
• Less personal
• Actionable
• Incontestable
The model’s greatest strength is that it diffuses disagreements by emphasizing facts
...so that the person you’re addressing is less likely to take your words too personally.
How to give it?
There is a structured format, which is
"When you did A, it made me feel B. In the future, I would love it if you could do C instead"
• A is the specific action, event, or behavior you want someone to change.
• B is the impact of that behavior, in other words, how it made you feel.
• C is a suggestion for what the person could do differently next time
The first two steps(A and B) aim to set the stage for giving the recommendation without getting derailed by debating the context.
Why reference A?
• The more specific the example, the more memorable the feedback
• Being fact-based keeps the feedback from feeling too personal
• The first part is incontestable as long as you remember and communicate it in time.
Why include B = How it made you feel?
Explaining how the recipient's action made you feel
is also unarguable - your feelings and reactions are your own, and no one can deny them.
You are just stating them.
Why does recommendation C have to be specific and actionable?
The point of providing feedback is so that we can improve.
If someone receives feedback that is too vague or beyond their control, it does nothing to help them do better the next time.
Example - "Can you respond faster next time?" is not specific or particularly actionable.
Can you respond within 3 hours when the email subject line has the word "Urgent" in it?
Feedback should be provided in such a way that if the feedback recipient does what you recommend, it will solve the problem and
prevent A and B from occurring again.
Let's take a full example here:
Opener(to show empathy) ->I totally appreciate your concern about the project.
A - But when you check in every 30 minutes,
B - it makes me feel like you don't trust me to complete the project. I lose my focus, which slows us down
C - A better way to do it would be to agree on milestones & their deadlines and have check-ins to ensure alignment + progress.
That's all for the tactical framework, but here are some actionable tips from my personal experience of being on both sides dozens of times.
- Don't wait to give it. Make it immediate
"The passage of time diminishes the effectiveness of your praise or criticism"
- Use the sandwich method - eases the blow
Start with something positive to disarm the person and ease into the conversation.
End on a positive note. Give them a roadmap and express your confidence in them.
- Make it regular and make it positive at times.
Studies show for the recipient to act, the ideal praise-to-criticism ratio is 5:1.
Have positive sessions too.
If you find yourself in a cycle of negative feedback, that's a sign there is a communication gap.
That's a wrap!
Feedback sessions need not be a ceremonious event.
They should be frequent, instant, and methodical.
That's a wrap 😊
If you made it here, I really appreciate you reading it through.
Hopefully, it's actionable enough for you to apply it.
If you liked it and want more detailed breakdowns of concepts
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